Oof da

So I'm in buckeye today, for a little BBQ and hangouts with friends from Vegas. It's kinda nice but I'm feeling lonely.

Rachel messaged me the other day, wishing me well and hoping I was doing good. It's funny timing but I can't fault her for that.

I had an interview yesterday. Which I how went well. It's  for $16/he instead of my guaranteed $11/hr for the hard of hearing place. Either way, I'm due to go sign paperwork for the hh place on Monday. This other place said I should know soon, as they need someone get quickly. We'll see. Wish me luck.

Movie Nights

Didn't get to posting yesterday, which means I'm going to have to owe you two today. Last night was "Movie night" at Gaetano and Tash's house. Beithar was there, too and we all around had a good time (even though we were all dozing off not too long into the movie) hanging out and playing with Sophie-monster. She's effing adorable. It's good to know that I've got people that I can go hang out with and just relax, hang out and be myself. It's good times. Makes me miss my niece Venessa, though and my other niece, Willow.. and Boodah.. yeah and then all my family in Vegas. I probably won't be able to make it to Vegas Faire this year (what with me hopefully getting a new job and all) so I'll be missing them a little bit longer until I get the chance to get up there, or vice versa.

Up and Down

I wish I could straighten out my moods lately. Even though I know what's causing the roller coaster ride, there's no end in sight to that ridiculous situation - it's no-win and several of my closest friends agree. So today I spent hours on answers.com answering people's questions about their coat of arms. then I slept for 3 hours in the middle of the day. Then I ate.. more.. and then when Kobold finally came home, we went to Thunar for a minute, but bailed since he wasn't fighting and I really didn't give a shit. This whole not giving a shit and being in a hole of gross self-loathing is pretty fucking awful... I feel like I need something - a kick, a kiss, a proclamation of undying love, a job, a proclamation of hatred... anything at this point would be pretty fucking good.

Meeting New People

When I was younger, I didn't have any issues meeting new people, making friends, talking to casual acquaintances et al. Now that I'm out of school and an 'adult,' I find it more difficult and sometimes, even contrived to try and make new friends. Shouldn't this be something that you do as a happy accident? Should making friends not be something that you don't necessarily set out to do, but that happens in a natural sort of non-stilted kind of way?

I suppose that would be the case if I had a job (social contact AAAAAAAAAAAH!) or did some kind of activity that involved talking with other people. I'll site those two things as my main reason that most of my friends are dirty rennies.

Either way, Kobold and I have recently made the acquaintance of a girl called Jill-one-L. (It's not really spelled that way, but what the hell.) She had us over to her home last week and this week we're returning the favor. Note: Her home is spotless, orderly, well-planned out decor and.. huge for just a single person. This intimidates the shit out of me.

Aside from the fact that I've gathered my resolve to keep this apartment pretty clean to begin with, the notion of her coming over and going "Holy god what the fuck is all this?" is truly horrifying. I'm not the cleanest person in the world - neither is Kobold, but when I'm depressed and he's work 10+ hours a day, the apartment can get a little... yeah. We won't go there.

So I've spent a good portion of yesterday, all of today (since 8am) and probably up until the minute she gets here - cleaning like a madwoman. Cleaning more than I would for my own parents (because they know I'm a slob).

I guess it's just one of those things - I would have cleaned well to begin with if she were coming over, but now that I know she has a fucking immaculate house, I'm busting my ass. I'm literally afraid to eat lunch for fear of having to clean any kind of mess.

In short, I was here:

And now I'm here:

I ain't no holla-back gurl..

I blame VH1 for the title. Kobold and I were watching "best songs of the 00's" and that was one of them - and despite my dislike for Gwen minus No Doubt, this shit is catchy.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway. I am a call-back girl. I got 2 callbacks within 20 minutes today, one for $16/hr and one for $11/hr. Clearly, I'm excited about the 16/hr one, though it is a temporary gig (9-18 months). We'll see how it goes. Nevermind the fact that I'm due to sign papers for the hard of hearing job ($11/hr) sometime soon.

So, things are looking up - or at least, there seems to be some kind of distant glow on the horizon.

So this is Puck's house - we are in the middle of a D&D game (a Sunday night ritual)... and we're all having a good time, as you can see. I'm moderately hesitant to admit that I do D&D but I guess I don't also want it to be a dirty little secret or something equally weird. Not that D&D isn't weird enough on its own. I guess the moral of the story is: it's fun and it's something to do with my friends that doesn't involve money. I'm fucking poor. Also, it's remarkable how often I 'accidentally' display traits of a Halfling... so I guess it was a good character choice for me. On that note, it's time for second-dinner.