I've decided that the squirrels are out to get me. After much deliberation and study, I've determined that they have a secret organization dedicated to trying to frickin' kill me. Not just me, though... it seems Keesha has the same problem. Let me illuminate.
I was crossing the road on my bike. I was being good, so I had a little walking man sign and everything, when all of a sudden I hear the distinct sound of a deisel engine plowing straight toward me. Some asshole cowboy in his Dodge Ram decided it was his turn to mow over a pedestiran. Of course, I swerved (like ya do) and as I'm looking back, cursing him my brain goes "hey...you should be looking where you're going."
Being that my brain is usually correct when it says things like that, I turned back around only to see a cute little tufty-eared squirrel in the middle of the road, heading straight for my tire. Needless to say this is bad, so I swerve again and as I'm looking backward, blinking at the odd noise the squirrel is making at me, my brain once more intercedes "Hey, idiot... looking forward, remember?". Well I turn around just in time to see chest....and then asphalt. Great.
So as this poor guy is apologizing to me for...me running into him, he's helping me up and trying his damnedest not to laugh his ass off (understandably). Once I'm up and examining my scraped arm, he lets the one-liner go. "Thought that squirrel had you for sure..."
Thanks, Buddy.
So I was so frazzled by the entire squirrel episode that I was about ten minutes late for work. I came in to "You can't wear that scarf on your head. We need you in the back, come on." A little startled and just a bit pissed, I stumbled back to the only computer upon which I can do my web work. Apparently they just couldn't wait to put on an announcement and so they tried to do it without me. When asked why they couldn't just wait until I got there, they replied with a rather frustrated tone "Well you don't come in 'till now!" Right. And the few hours would have hurt? Aside from putting on the announcements they managed to fuck-tard the entire web site. Why? Well the moron who tried doing my job renamed the file for the home page. Ah-DUH! Like you couldn't make the synopsies in your brain fire more slowly? What the hell did you think was going to happen!?
