I know I haven't written much about my idiot puppy, Sophie.. in fact, I'm not sure I've written about her at all, so here goes. I have a puppy. Her name is Sophie. She's cute and pretty and not very bright.
That being said, let me tell you that I love Sophie. I've had to take her to the vet's office twice now in a month, and despite her having come from the shelter and being all cute, I pray every night for God to give me patience so that I don't kill her. She's the kind of dog you can't spank without crying. Big brown eyes, apologetic manner (After she knows she's done something bad) and most of all, she's a big sweetie. Ok, she's small, but she's still sweet. The problem then arises, of the stupidity factor.
Yesterday I took Sophie on a little ride with me to drop Rae's backpack off at the dorm for her. She rode in the car, on my lap, in the back seat and eventually, went out the window. No one ever said she was bright. We were nearly home, say just less than a mile away. Deserted road, middle of the cornfields, so I rolled down the window a little bit. Enough for her head to stick through. . . apparently, though, if she can get her head through, her whole body fits. Who knew? So I'm going slow (like 30) since she's got her head out the window and everything... you know, just "in case."
Sophie decides it's a good idea to jump out the window head-first into the pavement. Of course this scares the crap out of me, I slam on the brakes, stall the car and dash out into the road, regardless of wether or not there was a truck zooming by (thank goodness there wasn't). I scoop her up and put her in the car... and then she starts shaking and crying. Now, she's part beagle (part australian blue heeler) so when she crys it's the most pitiful noise in the world. You want to cry when she crys because it's just so..... awful.
So I drive home doing 90 and screech into the garage, surprising Shane and Jason to the point that they stopped eating. That's a feat in and of itself. Still, I told them to call the vet and though the magnet is there on the refridgerator, as I pointed out, they can't even find it, let alone dial the phone. No one ever said they were bright.
I shove Sophie into someone else's arms, grab the phone, tell the vet what happened and then demand the boys drive me into town while I sit in the back seat with the stupid dog. Of course, on the way there, she bleeds (from her heels, just a little) on my jeans. No biggie.. but then she pees all over my lap so it looks like I've wet my pants. Nice. Turns out she's ok, no damage, no broken bones, nothing... but here I am in the vet's office with pee and blood all over my pants. I figure "while I'm here..." I mention to the vet that she's been dragging her butt along the carpet (another reason for daddy to threaten to shoot her) and the vet says "oh! No problem!" and gets out the latex gloves...and the lube. That's for peeing on my lap, Sophie. Apparently when a dog drags its butt along the carpet, the anal glands are full. Who knew?
