I know I promised more elaborate details about the even a few weeks past but something more pressing and upsetting has sort of taken over my life. After nearly a year of bliss with minimal contact from my ex (I won't name him but most of you at least know of him), he emailed me out of the blue the other day. The subject line said "2 things." I hesitated but opened the email.
The first "thing" that he was contacting me about was nothing major - he was requesting that I use some of my 'rennie' contacts to find him a long bow. Normally, I don't have an issue with this, especially since I know quite a few people who a). sell them or b). have one they're not using and might likely part with for a good price. I considered my options here as I continued to read further to the second "thing."
It was a mention of money that I still owed him - and that he'd like to start seeing some of it. Shocked, angered and doubly depressed that he has yet to learn his lesson and become any kind of functioning adult with any thought beyond himself, I disinclined to reply to him. I might've gotten around to it in a week or so when I'd had some time to cool off, but in a few days, I spied another email from him. This one simply asked if I had received the first email.
Still angry - and doubly so because now he was clearly just trying to get a reaction out of me, I stewed about it for a while, assessed my monetary funds and sent him a payment of $5.
A day later, I get an email - angry subtlety in the language - asking if I had made a mistake and sent him $5. I did not reply, thinking that if anything, he now knew I had received his email and had sent him some of the money "he'd like to start seeing."
Then came the email with the curse words. Basically, he said at the rate of five dollars a month, it would take years to pay him off, that he'd been pretty patient up until now and that I was annoying him.
I finally replied with an email stating my circumstances - that food, lodging and bills are more important than he is at this point, that I don't have money extra to send him and basically, that I was more than slightly annoyed at how he had requested we start payments again in such a flippant and irrefutably selfish manner.
Let's review, for those of you who don't have a grip on what exactly the situation is. I lived with this man for 3 years. I often had problems with my money, as I was paying 1/2 the rent, my car insurance and payments, cell phone bill, etcetera as well as paying for 1/2 the groceries (most of which he insisted on buying the 'good' stuff that I simply could not afford, despite several talks with him about buying off-brand just-as-good food). During this time, he worked only when he felt like it. He quit his job because his father offered to continue to pay for his 1/2 the rent, his college education and all his bills. Why we couldn't split the remaining 1/2 of the rent between the two of us while he kept working AND got money from his father is absolutely beyond me. Our relationship eventually self-destructed to the point where I would come home from a long day at work, he would tell me he had skipped class because he hadn't felt like going, how he had played video games all day, then had the nerve to get snippy with me when I didn't particularly want to clean/do dishes, etcetera (never mind he had the chance to do all this while he was at home all day playing video games and/or dicking around with his friends).
At the moment, he is still not working, still living off his father and as I understand it, still going to school when he feels like it, playing video games, going on trips with money he gets from his family and... he has the nerve to bother me for money.
It's not that I still have any sort of feelings toward him (ok, maybe disdain and/or anger), it's that he has the gall to sit back in his comfy chair in front of one of his two brand new computers (neither of which he himself paid for) after a long day of playing halo and/or WoW and/or rock band... and ask me for money.
So.. yes, I'm angry but more than anything, I cannot believe I once was ever so desperately lonely and/or thought I was in love with this man. I absolutely should know better - and now I do! I'm worth more than he ever tried to give me.
All I have to do now is find a man who's worthy.
