Yep, that's right folks. We've got a renegade strap-on in the building (Currently taking refuge in my Hot Topic bag). How'd it get there? Glad you asked.
It all started innocently enough, believe it or not... Rae was going to come over tonight, help me revamp my resume so I don't have to go down into the dungeon any more for the militant lesbian femi-nazis. Kyle was complaining at lunch that his trip to NYC had been cancelled, and so he wanted to go out and spend some $$. "Take me to a movie" cried the Kyle. Easy enough. I knew Rae'd be up for it because there are so many good movies out that she wanted to see. So! We -Kyle, Rae, Tom and I- decided to go see The Ring (which scared the shit out of me. I've got just 5 little words for you people.. "I don't have a tv"). I also had to stop by the mall to get some stuff to complete my halloween costume (I'm not tellin' what it is, either!) so on our way out to the mall, I mention we're passing Perscilla's which is one of the local -and the best- sex shop around. So of course we have to make a little side-trip. We were dicking around in there and Rae mentions to Kyle ...something... about the gift bags which are all wrapped up as a "surprise" of some sort. He decides to go ahead and grab one.. so we get in the car and there's no way I'm driving anywhere without seeing what's in there. We've got a penis-extender, a bottle of "sex sugar", some penis lotion and some other assorted stuff...and then out comes "The Strap-on." Yeah, you heard me right. In the gift bag for men, mind you, there's a huge fuck-off strap-on dildo. We all about peed our pants, seeing that thing.
Of course, it ended up riding in the back window all the way to the mall and staring at people while we were inside. More jokes ensued on the way to the movie...which was terrific, I might add. So on the way home, we're all laughing like there's no tomorrow, trying to figure out what the hell Kyle's going to do with a strap-on. Finally it's decided that I should give it a home... right. Like I could use it for anything except my halloween costume. Ugh that'd be bad. On the other hand, Kyle suggested that since Rae doesn't have a costume yet, she could use the strap-on (who has yet to be named) and be a unicorn... not a totally bad idea.
Now...the question that's begging to be asked "But Jessica...what are you going to do with it?"
Good fucking question. I suppose I could always take Rae's suggestion and put it on someone's pillow but that's just mean. After all, I don't want to start making enemies on the floor after just half a semester. And did I forget to mention that Kyle made us each eat somet of that sex sugar before we went into the theater? Yeah...thanks Kyle.
