Listen here, men....

I understand that you men try to be up on the latest trends and try to dress nice to impress girls (we notice, I promise) but when one idiot says to another idiot "ooh! You know what would be REALLY cool and would be a sure-fire way to get girls' attention?? We'll show them our underwear! But not.. like.. flash them our underoos. We'll just pull down our pants so they can see that we have fancy undies. I'm SURE this is a good idea!" ... let's not just jump on that bandwagon.

I'm not sure how this whole thing started (Kobold says it's a prison thing.. as in, the guy who wears his pants down past his butt is someone else's..er.. girlfriend) but it needs to end. Now. It's awful. Not only is it awful, it makes me want to give you a GIANT wedgie... or pull down your pants all together because we know with all that extra fabric and a belt, there's no way you could chase me and I'd have ample time to escape.

I think the worst part about the whole sagging thing is that there are now at the very least 2 distinctive types of sagging. 1). the "thug" sag - oversized pants, giant shirt, belt and usually a sideways cap and a lot of 'bling.' 2). Skinny emo kids who have bought pants that are exactly opposite of too big, but still somehow manage only to pull them up to - at maximum - the middle of their rears. W.T.F.?

I can only assume that this whole idiotic thing started from someone watching too much Mary Poppins as a child. I know I'm not one to talk, as my parents magically disappeared my copy of that same movie when I was about 10... but the movie never influenced my dressing habits. Let me explain with visual aids:

Bert, in the garden dances with penguins. He pulls his pants down like so -

In order to be more like the penguins. This is what I call the "SIP" or Sag In Progress.

Next, he dances with the penguins in the pants which are now ridiculously sagged down; exhibit B -
and hilarity ensues. Of COURSE this was not meant to be a serious fashion statement... but I'm sad to say that it is incredibly prevalent here in the West and I'm sure it has unfortunately spread like a venereal disease throughout the US and the world.

I don't get it. I really don't. How do you walk? Even Bert addressed this issue in Mary Poppins - he had to pull his pants back up AND tighten his belt in order to locomote properly! You people wear belts to keep your pants strapped around your thighs! What on earth is wrong here? Does this not impede your ability to MOVE? I also have noticed in some further ridiculous cases, it is customary to wear MORE THAN ONE pair of underwear. Is this a plumage thing? Is it a money thing? 1). You are neither a peacock nor a millionaire. 2). If you had feathers sticking out of your 3rd pair of underwear, I would be more scared than impressed 3). Because you can afford to buy and wear and wash more than one pair of underwear does NOT impress me!

And upon doing some research for my rant here, I found that apparently men are not the only culprits. Holy god, it's spreading to females too... ugh!




I leave you with other pictures of horror... men, take note. DO NOT DO THIS!




I really don't understand the need to tuck a kerchief into the front of the jeans here.. do you have a wound that's oozing? Is it soaking up the venereal diseases that you've got by letting your wang just flop about?!

If you think any of the above pictures are cool... or you look at the picture below with the man whose belt buckle says RAPE!!!!! and think that it's a good idea to dress like them, please seek psychological help.