Really?

I was browsing the internet, with the thought that I really should learn how to better dress myself (cargo pants and a teeshirt, with flipflops every day gets old, even for me). I came across the following:

Jeans Under $100This wardrobe staple doesn't have to cost more than two digits.

And I just had to stop and think to myself "do I actually know ANYONE who would pay $100 for a pair of jeans in the first place?" The answer, of course, is no, because I don't bother with people who would pay that much money for a single pair of jeans. It absolutely boggles the mind. For a bill, those jeans had better make me look like Dita VonTeese, damn it.

So I started imagining what a $100 pair of pants would have to look like for me to buy them. Initially, I thought about something like this:


But I then realized that you could get the very same pair of jeans by gluing grandma's old crochet to a pair of levi's without batting a lash. Total cost? $20.00 on a good day.

So I did a little research about jeans that are ridiculously expensive. Apparently there is an inverse relationship happening here. The more money you spend on your jeans, the smaller they get. It would then follow that if you have lots and lots of money to spend on jeans, you're apparently a stick figure. No wonder I can't fathom spending more than $40 on a pair of jeans.

Conclusion: I'm a poor fatty who is not at all fashion-conscious.... but I'm a happy fatty.