On The Matter of Hockey

I was checking my blog subscriptions and I read this from one of my friends, Kimmy: "Yay! The mighty ducks beat the red wings." This is my response, opinion and firm belief. West coast people know nothing of hockey.Point in fact: the above post.

Read with the mid-westerner's interpretation, it sounds something like this."Yay! My Mickey Mouse fake-ass hockey team made up of pretentious frenchmen and people who can't hack it in Canada, New York, Michigan, Jersey, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, or Boston have beat a legitimate hockey team (once this season) who has a buttload of players who hold esteemed titles such as:

Most years in playoffs: Chris Chelios (21), Gordie Howe (20), Larry Murphy (20)

Most Consecutive years in playoffs: Larry Murphy (18), Brett Hull (18), Brad Park (17)

Most Points in Playoffs: Paul Coffey (196 goals. 196!)

Most Goals in Playoffs: Brett Hull (100)Most Assists in playoffs: Paul Coffey (137)

Most Power Play goals in playoffs: Brett Hull (38), Dino Ciccarelli (34)

Most 3 or more goal games in playoffs: Dino Ciccarelli (6)

Most playoff games appeared in by a goaltender: Mike Vernon (138)

And a buttload of trophies, including: The Presidents Trophy (Best overall record), The James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best defenseman): Nicklas Lidstrom, The Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Gentlemanly conduct): Pavel Datsyuk, The Lester Patrick Trophy (Outstanding Service to hockey in the USA): Steve Yzerman

And let's please remember that The Detroit Red Wings are considered a dynasty. DYNASTY. What are the ducks considered?A laughingstock. That's right. A fucking Joke.

And last but not least, let's leave it up to the cup, as it is said in such circles. Let's check the stats: The Detroit Red Wings: 10 Stanley Cups.. 10. How many have the fucking ducks had? 0. That's right. None. Goosegg.

So, in conclusion, Fuck the Ducks. Thank you."

It is, of course, a little bit biased though all the statistics are double-checked. I am of the firm belief that people who have grown up west of the mississippi and south of the canadian border know nothing of hockey. It is a game of sport, skill, speed and toughness and though not everone appreciates it as it should be appreciated (ie: liking it just for the fighting), and though it is not a sport that is widely known or watched, it is in my opinion, one of the better things in the world. And anyone who thinks differently can kiss my pasty pale ass.