Juxtopposition

A Fuck-Geo is no good unless you've something monsterous to compare it to. Like oh.. .say... an *Aircraft carrier. Now, I know these are the two ends of the spectrum but a Fuck-Geo and an *Aircraft carrier are still equal parts of the badness. As outlined in the entry about "regining in the fuck-geo" I think you understand why the Fuck-Geo is quite honestly one of the maddening things on the road. On the other hand, the *Aircraft Carrier is just as bad! They swerve, they take up 8 1/2 parking spaces, their drivers are normally too small to even see over the dash, let alone reach the petals, and most importantly... they're normally *Yuppy trash, another thing to add to the World's Most Hated list. Oh yes.. and by the by, how's this for pure evil? On the way back from Cedar Point (America's Roller coast!) we had the unfortunate pain to see a little Fuck-Geo which was indeed just that, though it was a VW (good cars...) with the lisence plate (oh get ready to cry) "USA RULZ" now.. firstly if you're going to show your pride, spell it correctly PLEASE!.. but secondly and I'm begging this time.. do it on an AMERICAN CAR! Christ....

Onward, now, to our last topic. Crossed wires. Sounds a little odd, yes? Well, no doubt.. but I'm convinced that with all this wind, a few birds' wires have been knocked loose or crossed or at the very least, the poor things are having a wretched time trying to navigate around. I was at a stoplight the other day, minding my own business, watching the light like a good girl... and all of a sudden WHAM! Some poor bird's gone and smacked into the stoplight and landed on the car next to me. Now yes, that's a litle scary, but not uncommon from what I hear. Birds continually ram full-speed into the picture window at home, and even on campus at the dorms there's the occasional THUNK but I say it's a conspiracy. That's right. The birds are trying to take over the world! And they're starting with the stars. Remember what happened to Fabio? See? That proves it! They're after us.


*Aircraft Carrier- (n.) 1. A large vehicle, normally referred to as an SUV, which takes up 8 1/2 parking spaces, swerves and is dangerous to drive anywhere other than California. 2. A vehicle, large in measure, which is run only by its own private oilfield and the stupidity of the driver.

*Yuppy Trash (adj.)- To have or to be rich beyond one's wildest dreams and to squander it on a cell phone, a pilot notebook, an Aircraft carrier(see above), and a child whom you send off to boarding school only to strut on company picnics and then to tuck away back in a safe place where he/she can be raised by nuns/monks (without fear of child molestation?). (N.) a person who drives an Aircraft carrier while talking on their cell phone's headset, sipping Starbucks, complaining about the spot on their Armani suit and chuckling lightly/giggling femininely...all while cutting you off on a busy intersection and careening into oncoming traffic without so much as the bat of an eye.